Character Development Hub

Thursday, April 21, 2005

INTRODUCTION

Four Bridges Ministry www.fourbridges.org is a huge and complex operation that will only grow in the coming years. Yet amidst all this there are a few critical aims. We are to make disciples of all nations. The process of guiding a person to becoming a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ is a long term objective. Like Rick Warren says in the Purpose Driven Life (and elsewhere) the aim of God is to conform each child of God into the image of His Son. Christ likeness is a vague term. And it will differ from person to person. But look closely at the following lists of “MORE” and “LESS” then you will begin to get a greater understanding of the goal.

During this era our society offers many shades of gray. There is no black or white. There is no right or wrong. There is no good or bad. Yet I challenge you to read this list and see if you notice major differences. As a parent, pastor or person I doubt you want more of the less or less of the more.

As a Boy Scout back in the 1960s I learned to recite the Scouts Law which was begun many decades before. A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.

Centuries ago the seven deadly sins were commonly preached in the church. Here is a list of the seven deadly sins with the corresponding seven virtues: Pride/Humility, Anger/Kindness, Greed/Generosity, Lust/Self Control, Gluttony/Temperance, Envy/Love, Sloth/Zeal

Putting seven deadly sins and virtues in a major search engine brings up all kinds of interesting sties like these
http://www.whitestonejournal.com/seven/

http://www.virtualsalt.com/think/xtrseven.htm

PURPOSES

Biblical Christianity is not just learning the knowledge about the Bible, attending meetings, talking a certain way and behaving like other church members. The power of God is able to save the worst sinner and then to transform a believer into the image of Christ.

ASIDES

It has been suggested that all great literature and film has at the core a morality play. The Western movie was about the good guys versus the bad guys. The white and black hats were symbols. But their behaviors caused the conflicts. In the end the good won out over the bad. Likewise many science fiction novels and movies have conflicts in settings that are far into the future. These resonate with the reader or viewer because they are a reflection of the internal struggles we all face individually and see around us.

One of my favorite pastimes is to watch biographies on video. And repeatedly the commentator plus those who are interviewed mention key character qualities that were dominant in the person’s life. It was due to these qualities that the person was able to achieve excellence in their field. This includes invention, business, military, sports, music, teaching, etc.

When seeking to fill a position of leadership in a church or corporation and the candidates have equal qualifications, then the person who is hiring would be wise to put much weight on the character qualities that the references mentioned or can be understood from detailed interviews.

When I was reviewing and revising these lists it occurred to me that people have said that their dog, cat or horse has exhibited such qualities.

AUDIENCES

Parents and grandparents
Until a century ago most literature about parenting dealt with developing character. Character qualities were mentioned often. Yet now the mention is rare. May I submit to you that character development is the major contribution that a parent and grandparent can make? And in order for that to occur it needs to be done prayerfully and carefully over the course of many years. Most of the experts indicate that the early years are most critical for such matters.

Home school teachers
You have many hundreds of hours with each student. May I suggest that twenty to forty years from now what will endure is your emphasis on the character issues. Book learning has value but never underestimate these matters.

Bible teachers
There are dozens of Sunday school lessons that relate to the positive and negative character qualities exhibited in the Old and New Testaments. The epistles admonish us to change our attitudes and behaviors. Spiritual maturity involves becoming like Christ and that leads to this kind of transformation.

Pastors
If you are ever seeking for inspiration on what to preach about then just prayerfully examine these lists. You could find many whole sermons and strong points to weave into expositional sermons. These can be used to both correct the imbalance in the congregation and to lead them into maturity. And when you are counseling an individual, couple or family you may notice that these character qualities are a big part of the dynamic.

Counselors, Therapists, Coaches, and Mentors
Here is a way for you to connect with your clients. Help them to identify the character qualities that they want to have MORE and LESS. Then work with them to plan and take action. That will lead them and you into the hidden walls, trap doors, motivational well springs and other issues. Do not make the issue is not good or bad nor right or wrong. Those judgments can bring guilt and shame. Instead move toward the MORE and away from the LESS.

Ben Franklin's 13 virtues

Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloths, or habitation.

Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

Humility : Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

ON THE BEAM used by some AA groups

HONESTY
FAITH
COURAGE
CONSIDERATE
HUMILITY
GIVING
CALM
GRATEFUL
PATIENCE
TOLERANCE
FORGIVENESS
LOVE
SELF - FORGETFULNESS
HUMILITY
MODESTY
SELF - FORGIVENESS
TRUST
MODERATION
ACTION

OFF THE BEAM used by some AA groups

DISHONEST
FEAR
FRIGHTENED
INCONSIDERATE
PRIDE
GREEDY
ANGER
ENVY
IMPATIENT
INTOLERANT
RESENTMENT
HATE
SELF-PITY
SELF - JUSTIFICATION
SELF - IMPORTANCE
SELF - CONDEMNATION
SUSPICION
GLUTTONY
SLOTH

MORE

Alert
Altruistic
Approachable
Articulate
Articulate
Assertive
Authentic
Available
Balanced
Benevolent
Bold
Brave
Caring
Celibate
Charitable
Charming
Chaste
Cheerful
Compassionate
Content
Courageous
Courteous
Creative
Dependable
Determined
Diligent
Diplomatic
Discerning
Discrete
Empathic
Enthusiastic
Faithful
Flexible
Forgiving
Friendly
Generous
Gentle
Genuine
God fearing
Good hearted
Graceful
Grateful
Helpful
Honesty
Hopeful
Hospitable
Humble
Industrious
Inquisitive
Integrity
Joyful
Just
Kind
Lover of good
Loving
Loyal
Mature
Meek
Merciful
Moderate
Obedient
Optimistic
Orderly
Organized
Patient
Peaceful
Peacemaking
Perceptive
Persevering
Pleasant
Prepared
Promise Keeping
Prudent
Punctual
Reliability
Respectable
Responsible
Responsive
Reverent
Secure
Self-controlled
Selfless
Sensitive
Sincere
Sober
Steadfast
Steady
Supportive
Teachable
Temperate
Tender
Thankful
Thorough
Thrifty
Tolerant
Trustworthy
Understanding
Wise
Zealous

LESS

Angry
Anxious
Anxious
Apathetic
Bitter
Boastful
Bossy
Callous
Careless
Close Minded
Cocky
Codependent
Complacent
Condemning
Condescending
Conniving
Corrupt
Covetous
Critical
Cynical
Deceptive
Demanding
Dishonest
Disrespectful
Dissenting
Dominating
Domineering
Drunken
Egoistic
Envious
Fainthearted
Fearful
Forgetful
Gluttonous
Gossipy
Greedy
Gullible
Harsh
Haughty
Hyper
Idle
Idolatrous
Impatient
Inconsistent
Indifferent
Inflexible
Insecure
Insincere
Irresponsible
Irritable
Jealous
Lazy
Luke warm
Lustful
Lying
Manipulative
Materialistic
Needy
Passive aggressive
People pleasing
Perfectionistic
Pessimistic
Possessive
Power hungry
Prayerless
Prejudice
Presumptuous
Proud
Rash
Rebellious
Resentful
Restless
Rude
Self-centered
Selfish
Self-pitying
Self-righteous
Shameless
Shameless
Shortsighted
Slothful
Stingy
Tardy
Temperamental
Thankless
Timid
Unapproachable
Unforgiving
Ungratefulness
Vain
Wasteful
Whiny
Wrathful

LAUNCH TEAM

Intercessors
Pray hard that God will use this list as a starting point for many other works in the years to come.


Advisors

Your comments, suggestions and questions are welcomed on this matter.

Donors
Your generous donations today will be used by God to pave the way to much fruit related to this matter in the coming years.

FUTURE

This is just a rough outline. There are plenty of secular and Christian materials for children that guide the child plus parent and teacher into gaining these qualities. Four Bridges will gladly point people to buy and use them. Plus we will be used by God to create new educational modules.

CAVEAT

Any character quality when taken to an extreme can cause unpleasant consequences for the person with it and those around them. A strength can become a weakness when there is no balance or self-control.